Pumpkin Boy’s (PB) October birthday missed the Kindergarten cutoff this year by about a month. Since June, I have fantasized about the time I would have to finish home repairs, to craft, to write, to run and to have quiet during the day. I’ve longed for time to reconnect with myself, and spend time savoring solitude. Today, PB started preschool, and I have cried a lot today.
And yesterday.
And the day before that.
And I finally figured out why something I’ve anticipated, would cause such sadness. PB starting school, signals a transition period in my life, and is a reminder of my own mortality.
Pumpkin Boy’s first birthday
As an avid genealogist, I spend a lot of time researching transition periods in my ancestor’s lives. Births, deaths, weddings, moves, and career shifts leave clues about them, and what they valued. Transitions help me connect with ancestors I’ve never met, so they become more than an old photograph, or a name etched on a tombstone.
Our life transitions bring the valuable gift of time. It’s time to reevaluate our priorities, and to reflect on and set new goals. Sometimes, transitions encourage us to change a life path we are on, and choose another. It’s end as well as beginning of something new.
New can be exciting, but when you long for the comfort of the known, it can be overwhelming. As I transition to the role of a mother of school age boys, there are things that I miss. The greatest longing comes with knowing my role is different now. I don’t have a baby to nurse in the middle of the night or someone to teach and guide through a year of first milestones. As my children age, and gain autonomy, I find myself loosing a part of motherhood I’ve enjoyed more than I thought I would… nurturing.
During this life transition, I’ve spent time envisioning how my role as a mother will continue to shift over the next decade as my triplets age, mature, and move away from home. As my motherhood role transitions, I can use the opportunity to grow and change.
The best part of life transitions, is that they give us the power to re-focus, show gratitude, and to savor the moments of our journey, however long or short it is. I believe it’s the collection of life’s transitions that help us learn the most and to reach our personal potential… even if we have to reach for the tissues often in the process.
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