I’ve been trying to figure out what triggered it. I remember looking forward to Christmas as a child. But now, I love Jesus, but I hate Christmas.
I don’t know if it was years of working holidays in retail managing stores for Starbucks. I worked twice on Christmas day. My store was chosen to be the only location open in the county due to it’s movie theater proximity.
I don’t know if it’s the pressure I’ve felt since becoming a parent to make the season “magical” with Pinterest worthy activities and an elf that moves locations daily, 3 different advent calendars, 25 story books to read each day of December, or a tree that never looks like magazine photos. It may be the fear that somehow, I’ll disappoint my boys and this is the year they will stop believing in Santa because I didn’t have the neighbor write the gift tags or they find a shred of the “Santa” wrapping paper or wrappers from “stocking” candy in the trash.
Maybe I hate Christmas, because of unrealistic expectations I have from too many Lifetime and Hallmark movies, where the relatives are all sober, warm and compassionate and no one makes passive aggressive comments under their breath.
Knowing how much I dislike Christmas has made it more difficult for me to keep up the traditions and all of the activities that are supposed to create life long positive memories for my children.
This year, I didn’t hang lights outside. (Mostly, because the day I chose was 2 degrees Fahrenheit.) I haven’t baked cookies. We stayed home the night of the church Christmas party, because I had a migraine, and my husband had back spasms.
I’ve wrapped presents. I’ve sipped eggnog by the fire, and watched It’s a Wonderful Life. I’m still not feeling the love for Christmas.
I just want Christmas to be over. I don’t want you to think it’s because I haven’t focused on “The Reason for the Season”. I have. We’ve done a daily advent family scripture, act of service and song to focus on Jesus. I love Him.
Honestly, I think He’s watching most of the frantic holiday chaos, and saying, “Hey, what about me guys? Ummm, it’s my birthday, but you’ve kind of forgot to invite me to the party.”
I’ll have a white Christmas. There’s been another foot of new snow since yesterday, and more on the way. There are snow berms so high I could be buried alive and hidden until March if the snowplows accidentally scooped me up. (Part of me is hoping this will happen.)
Maybe, just maybe, you hate Christmas too. And that’s okay. You’re not alone.
Maybe you hate Christmas, because it reminds you of the year there was no Christmas Eve dinner, because your bi-polar stepmother didn’t leave her room for several days. You huddled in your car to eat a microwave burrito dinner and share a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream with your brother from the 7-11, because everywhere else was closed.
Maybe you hate Christmas, because it forces you to acknowledge that relationships with living people, especially ones you’re related to, are hard. They can be disappointing. They can be painful or non-existent. Family time can be overwhelming when you throw forced merriment into the equation.
Maybe you hate Christmas, because it reminds you of loss. You miss people you loved to share it with the most.
If this doesn’t ring true with you now, that’s great. You can fa-la-la and deck the halls some more. But, this year, while your busy stuffing your stockings, take a moment to look in the eyes of the people around you. Acknowledge that though you may think that “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”, but not everyone else does.
It may not mean that someone is a Grinch or a Scrooge. Maybe, they love Jesus, but just hate Christmas.
Genealogy Jen’s challenge of the week – Look for someone who needs a little extra TLC this week, and give it to them in the form of a delicious baked good, hug or your time.
I liked your post. I don’t hate Christmas but understand that many people struggle through this season for various reasons. I struggled with it once but no longer do.
Gene that gives me hope! Thanks for commenting.
I feel the same way you do. I actually Google’s “love Jesus but hate Christmas” and your article came up in the search. I deeply love Jesus and would really love to have a quite, contmpletive Christmas to feed my soul with the awe of God’s love. Sadly, I have to carve time for this on my own and then push through the pain to keep up with my family’s expectations. I hate it. Thank you for your honest article.
Judy, I am so glad that you can relate. You’re not alone. It’s taken me years, but this year, I’m looking forward to Christmas for the first time in nearly a decade. I was thinking yesterday that I should write an update with how it’s changed and why. It’s a process. Chin up. I just said a little prayer for you.
People have forgotten what Christmas spirit is all about. Everyone is too busy trying to one up the neighbor on decorations that are way to hideous anyway. The art of choosing the right present has come down to which gift card to buy them or it’s something so expensive you can’t afford it but feel you still need to buy it. We remember the days when decorations were simple and not put up two months before Christmas. The holiday season use to be special, a time for family and friends, a time to enjoy ourselves, not make ourselves crazy. We need to go back to the simple things in life.
I agree Janene. It would be great if everyone was just excited to get a Christmas orange like the 1930s.
With four boys and cold hands, my dear, you are forgiven. Anyway, astronomers say it’s more likely Jesus was born during March or April of 4 BC. when there was a long conjunction of two bright planets – maybe Venus and Jupiter – can’t remember for sure – and the Star, as it were, gave enough light to see in the dark. As an added touch, winter in the desert is cold and sheep and shepherds would be holed up at home. Not in a field. That particular conjunction also predicted the birth of a king.
As you may know, early church leaders set Christmas when they did to replace Saturnalia, a week long pagan holiday to celebrate the Feast of the Sun, i.e. Solstice.
Ergo. Wait for April. It will finally arrive, too, and we’ll both have warm hands.
Hugs. J.
That’s great Janet! We believe Christ was born April 6th as Latter Day Saints. Spring is full of so much hope. I’ve always liked Easter better than Christmas. Easter bunny comes to our house , but not until church is over, and everyone has a Sunday nap. It’s still cold here in the mountains, sometimes there’s snow on the ground, but we drive around the lake to watch the sunrise. We say a prayer and talk about the Son of God as the sunrises over the mountains. The boys always complain they are cold even huddled in blankets. I usually have a thermos of hot chocolate to share, and someone spills. One kid usually cries about something, but it is one of my favorite family traditions. We have a delicious lamb dinner. I love Easter.
I too prefer a contemplatative day and night with Jesus and my dogs.,My mom is crying trying to make me feel guilty for not coming for Christmas…”how could you do this to me? I just turned on all the Christmas lights to make it all Christmas.”y for you.” I wish she could just understand how hard this holiday is.
In the past few weeks, I (and others) have lamented on our blogs about our indifference/disillusionment of Christmas. You are not alone. Although I don’t hate the holiday, I do understand that for many people, Christmas is NOT the most wonderful time of the year. Best wishes.
Not a Christian, but a fan of Jesus’s work — and I love Christmas. My husband, a bigger fan of Jesus, but totally a Scrooge, despises Christmas in every way. He hates the commercialization and the greed it caters to.
I loved this post, and I think while your issues and struggles with the holiday are your own, you’re not alone in your feelings overall. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks Joey for making me smile. I am sorry you’re married to a Scrooge. There may be hope though, because Scrooge does a 180 at the end… and so did the Grinch now that I think about it. Their change of attitude just required intervention of poltergeist or singing. (I think I’d rather have ghosts than carolers for my transformation.) Thankfully, I survived December 25, and was (mostly) not cranky. I’m ready to be poppin’ bottles of sparkling cider tomorrow and toasting to a fresh start in 2016. BTW – I watched 2 Christmas movies this year where the main character had to relive Christmas Eve or Day over and over again Groundhog’s Day style to find the “true meaning of Christmas”. I’d rather have singing ghosts.
Ooh, this was some great writing!!
I know some people who say the same, and this really helped me to understand more. 😀
As long as you love Jesus, I’m sure we can all understand not liking Christmas — after all, I’m sure He just shakes His head at all the madness we put ourselves through! 😛
(And… *cough* I’m reading this in March… Hehe! *cough*)
Thanks. I’m just glad that you read it!
I so get it. I think I have to re-realize, every year, that “the most wonderful time of the year” is sometimes the most “fill-in-the-blank-with-pejorative-word-of-choice” time of year. Because of he worldwide pandemic, I am grateful this year, at least, for a lack of too many social gatherings to attend. But you know what I do love? YOU!
I summarized some thoughts about combating the the “busyness” of the season last year: https://renfroescoop.blogspot.com/2019/12/all-decembery-things.html