No matter which aspect of my life I’m focusing on, whether by choice or chance, I’m all in.
100% of Jen is dedicated to whatever I’m into at the moment. I’m unable to find the balance that most people have and do several things at once, or to engage in an activity without going in full throttle.
While 100% extreme personalities make for good characters on reality TV shows, and my life gives me ample story material for writing and entertaining friends, my lack of life balance can have a serious downside- especially when it comes to overthinking. I’m 100% Jen there too.
The topics I over analyze vary. Sometimes, they are big things. I overthink decisions about parenting my gifted sons. I overthink my future possibilities based on my current life choices. I overthink about the nature of mankind and acts of injustice.
I wish this were an exaggeration.
Voicing my anxieties or concerns with issues I’m processing has lead to many comments from other people. The most common thing that I have heard is to “Quit thinking about it. You’ll be fine.”
As a gifted person, telling me to quit thinking about something, just causes me more anxiety, and to overthink more. It is like telling me to quit breathing. and I’ll survive. I won’t.
Thinking is what gifted people do best.
Overthinking has a bad reputation, but it is a necessary part of my mental processing. Plus, it is usually beneficial to me. It has helped me be prepared for emergency situations, plan vacations, achieve goals, and anticipate the needs of family and friends during times of need.
You’ll notice I said usually beneficial. I’m not going to lie to you. Sometimes, overthinking leaves me feeling like the Sicilian in The Princess Bride during the battle of wits.
Man in Black – Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
Sicilian – Wait ’til I get going!
I mentioned earlier, 100% Jen has an extremely difficult time with balance. (Yeah it’s 3rd person, and I’m not Royalty, but just roll with it. I’ve overthought the wording on that sentence enough already.)
My mental patterns can start to loop in circles and leave me feeling physically and emotionally drained.
Truly, my brain is amazing, but wait ’til it gets going. I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be that way.
I might not be balanced, with my 100% mindset, but I’d rather be on the upside of life’s teeter totter. When I find myself overthinking, it is a signal for me to dig deeper to get to the root of what’s really bothering me.
Spoiler alert… It’s probably related to fear. I spent a year facing my 40 fears, so I’ve thought about this a lot. Though counter-intuitive, to escape from overthinking, I need to think more, and so should you.
You have a big, sexy brain, right? Use it to think more.
Instead of beating yourself up about a decision, or wondering for the umpteenth time whether or not your darling cherub is having his or her academic needs met in the classroom, think about a different way to frame your question, and to challenge your mindset.
Ask yourself…
Why am I fixating on this?
What’s the real underlying issue here?
What, if any, fear is there that is causing me to dwell on this issue?
Feeding your mind different questions to shift your focus can restore mental balance, or at least stop your mind from spinning circles.
While focusing on questions, I find it helpful to
Connect with nature and move.
It can be especially beneficial to move to process mentally if you have ADD like I do. Changing your scenery to a more natural environment is refreshing, and can help shift your mental focus.
I believe that most people have the answers to the questions they are overthinking already. It’s just a matter of adjusting how you’re approaching your questions to discover the answer is there already.
After writing this, I took my own advice. I’m going to order the school supplies, and I already tossed the old strawberries.
Sometimes, you just need to think about an issue a little bit longer, or in a different way.
This post is part of Hoagies’ Gifted Education monthly blog hop series. This month’s topic is about overthinking. Click the link or graphic below to read more about this topic. Trust me, it’s worth your time. No need to overthink it.
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_overthinking.htm
I can so relate to that all or nothing thing! I’m sort of like my broken car fan – all on or all off. I appreciated something in a book I read called “You’re Not Too Much” by Leela Sinha about how we are never going to be happy with what others call “balance,” so our goal should be to leave at least 10% left so we don’t burn ourselves out in the process.
Oooh I’m glad I’m not alone. I like your fan analogy Aurora. I’ll have to check out that book as well. Thanks so much for reading and commenting I can’t wait to check out what you shared this month.
Oh! You also live a life that gives you great writing material. I know what it’s like to feel like a character in a story….
And yes, nature helps when that happens. Just this evening, I was sitting on our balcony, appreciating the fact that our apartment complex has a courtyard with really fantastic trees, whose leaves were rustling. I planned my evening around the planned storm, but then it seems to have parted and gone around our city. Too bad! (It’s easy to overthink your plan for the evening, only to see the weather shift….)
The only thing constant is change right, Jessie? Especially with the weather. I love the sound of wind in the trees too. I also love running water. I made a short video on my phone of the river near my house in the fall. I watched it a few times in the winter when the snow was piled up too high, and I felt like I needed to escape, but couldn’t get outside.
Great suggestions, Jen. And fun to read! Most certainly, you are not alone!
Thanks Paula! I have loved my Soul Collage cards I learned about from your book. That has also been a helpful tool for me to focus on what I am thinking about on a subconscious level that may be making me overthink.
Haha its nice to know there are othrs like me, although after I was diagnosed ADD a couple years ago and started taking a stimulan, Im able to make the choice to hyper focus or not, without medication, no choice. Having said that, there is a lot of power in being able to hyperrfocus 😉