I’ve read a lot about it. There is a mass exodus of gifted children from public education. It troubles me as a parent with gifted children in public school. I know why other parents do it. Reasons can vary, but usually it boils down to the school meeting their child’s needs academically, socially, emotionally or some combination of the three. I’d be lying to say that I haven’t thought about doing it myself.
I have.
A lot.
I understand your decision is usually made from a place of concern for the well being of your child. It’s part of parenting. I’m asking you to consider us, too. Consider who you’ll be leaving behind when your child leaves public school.
My son was paired in a classroom with yours based on his aptitude. When your son is at school, there is a greater need for an overburdened teacher to differentiate curriculum for our gifted boys. He has a peer that he can relate to. He shares time with someone that looks for deeper meaning in text, and can relate to the way that he thinks. With two identified gifted students in one classroom, my son isn’t left alone to muddle through a public school education and common core standards.
As a parent, I have advocated for a full time Gifted and Talented teacher for our school district. With your child missing, there is one less reason for the district to fund a full time position. With one less gifted and talented student, a teacher isn’t challenged to adapt teaching methods to meet the needs of GT students.
With more GT students in public schools, we have a louder collective voice as parents, and greater ability to improve the system.
We can improve public schools not just for your child, or my child, but for all children.
Please consider the under identified or unidentified gifted kids you may be leaving behind in the school. They may not be in the same classroom, or grade or gender. They look to your child as a friend, rival, academic peer, and most importantly, someone to learn from.
Maybe, there is something you can do for academic or personal enrichment for your child? Maybe the public school will work with you to do dual enrollment? What about homeschooling for certain subjects or classes, but mainstream the rest? Or a grade skip? Or compact curriculum?
Maybe, as a parent, you’ve tried everything, and you’re feeling exhausted, and want out.
I’ve been there.
But, we’re still here. It might be best for your individual child to homeschool, and you have the means to do it. Before you go, know that there are other parents who rely on you and your child being a part of the public school system.
Please stay.
Read other articles written about homeschooling gifted kids by clicking
www.HoagiesGifted.org/
Genealogy Jen’s Challenge of the Week – Download and use the free FamilySearch Memories App or Discovery feature and record a story about your school experience. Bonus Points– Record an older relative’s memories. PS I love that there is now a voice to text feature on the app.
Having been a child who was left to the mercy of disinterested and unqualified teachers- no. I will not subject my gifted child to the same public school system that failed me. I will not let my child be the sacrificial lamb with the idea that perhaps his presence will better the system for other children…. No. It won’t. The system doesn’t care about gifted children and it is not about to anytime soon. Public schools didn’t serve us 25 years ago when I was a gifted student -and there were many other gifted kids in the classroom because homeschooling was far less common then.
If the ship is sinking, you worry about the kids on the bottom deck not the kids on the top, and that is exactly how gifted children are viewed- “They’ll be fine.” For the brief time that my child was in public school, even though he is grade levels ahead, he had to be in a classroom with kids his age. I was told he could “help the other kids.” I don’t really think that’s a job my 6 year old should have. He was bored and angry and isolated. If my 6 year old is doing algebra while the other kids learn to count to 10, he shouldn’t be in that room. He also shouldn’t be in a room with 13 year olds who might be able to do the same math but who are going to bully and isolate him. There is no place for a child like mine in a system like the American public school system. Putting him into that mess benefits absolutely no one but the public schools who will gladly take his test scores but offer him nothing in return.
I’m so sorry that you had an experience like that as a child. With a son who is profoundly gifted like yours, homeschooling would be the best option for sure . I agree that it is important to listen to your child and adapt to help them learn the best they can. I just think that too many parents who have access to the resources to homeschool their kids, do it without working to improve the quality of education for everyone else.
It’s totally not your son’s job to tutor or help other kids to understand material the teacher covers. It’s his job to be able to learn.
I get where you’re coming from, and to a point I agree. G&T education was very patchy when I was in school; there wasn’t a great deal to be had if you were more than one year ahead of your peers or if you were ahead in some subjects but average in others. Then there were teachers that treated me like an unpaid tutor, similar to how the other poster mentioned her son was treated. To say that was a disaster would be an understatement: I had zero interest in confronting someone when they were wrong and I wanted to be nice and fit in, so I told them they had the right answer every single time, no matter what came up with. I reinforced so many misunderstandings! But it never even occurred to me back then that my teacher wanted me to teach the others for her. I had no insight back then into why she disliked me so much.
I’m not yet at the point where I need to make a decision, but I do often think about homeschooling my child. If schools in our area were still the same as when I attended I definitely would. On the other hand, there’s been an explosion of accelerated charter schools in the region (in large part, as a response to district schools that are far below average nationally), and many of these use an accelerated curriculum to begin with, and some seem to have an excellent track record with accommodating gifted children. So I’m sort of torn – do I want to take a chance on a school that might deliver a good gifted education and risk that it’s little more than extra busy work? Or do I want to skip straight to homeschooling and avoid him learning bad habits and to hate schoolwork in the first place?
I don’t have a definite answer. All else being equal, I would like my child to have peers on the same level as they are. I just don’t know which path is most likely to get them there.
That’s the hardest part. There’s not usually a good answer… especially when you have 4 gifted kids that have all sorts of different stuff going on.
You’ll figure it out though. And realize that you’re gifted, and your offspring is, but it can be in mind-blowing different ways. My dream school experience is totally different than theirs…. and that’s okay…. usually.
I have definitely realized that I’m not a homeschooling parent after 6 months of pandemic at home with my boys.
I had to fight to make sure that they get Geometry this year even though they are 2 of only 7 kids at the school taking it. That advocating never stops, even as middle schoolers.
You’ve got this!
Thanks for taking the time to comment. And if you once were a gifted child, you’re still gifted… even if you’re older.